PHOTO

– I was attempting to capture a black and orange bumble bee as it flew around my rhododendron flowers. I snapped photos until the nector gathering creature flew away, only to discover I had my camera setting wrong. I tried again. I was unhappy when two yellow jackets scared away the bumbles. But elated at this chance shot.

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PHOTO

– It’s raining. It’s cold. But at least it’s Saturday. Between rain showers, I went outside in search of the next photograph for inspiration. We have a small garden off the house, and I ventured over and found diamonds. Small water droplets held in succulent green tines.

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I was a little drained this morning with license keys, phone calls and dinosaur computers. (long story). But I put in my Susan Boyle CD and she sang to me- personally – providing the encouragement I needed to get through the morning.

At least once every couple of months I venture back to YouTube to watch the the video that inspires me to tears – literally. I cry every time I see it. I laugh. I applaud. Today was that day, and I want to share that with you (as well as make an easy way for me to find it.)

So here’s Susan Boyle. Accomplishing what she wanted–to sing in front of a live audience. Little did she know she would inspire and delight so many. Her voice is truly from God, a joy to hear and, as the judge, Amanda, stated so perfectly – a “Privilege”. From one Susan to another – Thank you.

Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent

P.S. Turn up the volume!

The embedding was disabled, so have posted a link.

I started up the computer, poised to begin another day. I stared. It stared back.

My brain synapses weren’t snapping. Running on autopilot, I did the next best thing. I went shopping. I wasn’t completely deviating from my normal routine. It was Thursday, and Thursday is grocery-shopping day. List in hand I proceeded directly to the Starbucks counter located in the store. “A Hazelnut Mocha, Tall, with half a shot and Soy Milk, please.” My favorite latte slightly adjusted to my changing life (and body).

Unable to steer with one hand, I used the cart’s built-in cup holder as I worked my way up and down every isle. I learned to start my shopping venture with a drink. It is a great comfort knowing my latte will not become another statistic, violently targeted by the parking lot surface. I have seen many new creations, their foam still fresh, tossed and jostled until their innards shoot out from their lid. Of course, if you must venture out with a full cup, provide protection– plug the hole with a straw.

Forgetting one item on my four-item list, I headed home. True to my challenge, I brought my camera for possible poetic inspirations but none came.

Once again, I stared at my computer. It was 1 pm. Too late to watch Perry Mason, and too early for dinner. Exactly what I did during the next three hours is a blur; I probably took a shower.

Then a miracle happened. After a dinner of yogurt and cereal, my energy level skyrocketed. I did the dishes, wrote 2 articles, created a web design, played a few computer games and organized my desk for the next day.

Still awake at 2am, I flipped through TV channels deciding on an educational program showing trained aid dogs being paired with the handicapped. Setting the volume to mute, the subtitles started to scroll by.

I don’t know about you, but I never learned to read subtitles at ludicrous speed. I switched off the TV and went to bed.

Morning came too early. I stumbled to the kitchen, starting my routine of slippers, coffee, and computer. As the familiar computer chime sounded, I realized I completely forgot to work on my challenge.

Oh, Poop! Three days and I am already behind on my challenge. So, I am revising my challenge from a poem a day for a year to simply writing for one year. Essentially the same contract, but now it offers a loophole for future lapses in memory.

To keep your brain healthy, experts say to continually challenge yourself, to learn new things. I agree. I am learning I can’t drink whole milk, I can’t shop without a list (which I can’t remember to use), and I am learning how to deal with an ache in my hip during high humidity, while I live three blocks from the ocean.

I have also learned not to focus on tomorrow. I will concentrate on the now, and right now—I need another cup of coffee.

Yet, I am happy with my Day 2 “Unconditional Love” poetic attempt. It has promise. Perhaps, at the end of this project, I will select and rework the poems that have merit.

– I wrote this after a very bad day with my computer.  I had a tantrum, but felt safe no one could hear me. I was wrong.

I went outside to take a break and found my yellow rhododendrons had just bloomed.  The sun was shining and I had to snap this shot.  I studied its delicate beauty – easily damaged.  Our hearts are the same.  We create garbage; sometimes unknowingly, and then carry it throughout the day.

. . . . . . . .

Unconditional Love

I watched the sunrise.
Birds sang in the air.
I smiled.
You smiled, too.

 

The bus was crowded.
A man offered his seat.
I thanked him.
You thanked him, too.

 

I looked at my feet.
I was wearing slippers.
I laughed.
You laughed, too.

 

Traffic was jammed.
It was getting late.
I started to complain.
You heard me.

 

I got a lunch,
Forgot to pay.
I left.
You saw me.

 

Was asked to dinner.
Said I was busy.
I lied.
You knew.

 

I sat in the darkness,
Pouring out my guilt.
I was ashamed.
You listened.

 

You drew me close
And held me.
I was undeserving.
You forgave me.

 

I cried.
You cried, too.

 

Thank you Lord.

– The photo was taken a couple years ago (yes, I didn’t go out today). It is one of my favorites.  I love the simplicity of the bikes against the cobblestone patio.  Though not new, the bikes were cared for, as members of a family. People milling around didn’t even glance at them, yet they were waiting for their owners–quietly, patiently.

. . . . . .

Renewed

I am new
Confident,
A friend,
Family.

 

I am discarded,
Lost,
Weary,
Dying.

 

Tears fall
Rusty,
Dirty,
Hopeless.

 

Eager hands,
Lifting,
Reshaping,
Remolding.

 

I am reborn.

I lost my mother when I was 12, and have very few memories.  Perhaps it is selective, or long-term loss. But for whatever reason, my mother’s eyes have taught me to look into yourself for the gifts and talents God gave you.

Other inspirational people in my life, who have instilled a drive in me to do better include my father, siblings and husband, just to name a few.  Yet, in the past year, I have had three unlikely sources that have inspired me to tears.

The first time I watched The Biggest Loser I was expecting to see obese people being exploited for the mighty dollar. But I found unlikely heroes–participants pushing beyond their expected limitations.  They were succeeding not only in losing weight, but gaining confidence and self-esteem.  When they didn’t believe, the trainers inspired, encouraged and yelled. It would be hard. It would take time. It would change their lives.

Another underdog, whose voice still makes me smile and cry, is Susan Boyle.  A woman, expected to fail, surprised the world with a voice beyond description. She overcame the whispers of doubt and succeeded.

I was also inspired by the movie Julie and Julia.  I felt just as Julie – starting projects with self-doubt on my heels.  It wasn’t until I was 43 years old did I realize I was a good at what I did.  I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t a prodigy.  But I was good.  When I stopped comparing myself to others (and there is ALWAYS someone better), I found that my gifts and talents were enough.

But that is work.  I am constantly starting hobby projects, but never finishing.  I have over 10 stories started, but never completed. I have an illustration ¾ done, which I started 6 years ago. I get bored. Restless. I need a challenge I can stick to and complete – to prove to myself I can.

Then a wise man told me, “Eat Your Elephants One at a Time.” I was so busy I was running around nibbling at their heels, and never completing a meal. I decided to take his advice and choose an Elephant and devour him, no matter how long it took or how enticing the “other elephants” became. Gluttony is a sin, and trying to too eat too many elephants it one, too — in it’s own way. No matter how many elephants you gather in your herd, you will never be able to eat them all. Better to choose one elephant to focus your attention on, then when done, move onto the next.

So to the man who uttered those prophetic and inspired words, thank you for helping me slow down and enjoy the elephants in my life. And, I love you, Ken.